Well, I filed my taxes today, and according to the IRS, my money should be hitting my bank by the 28th or so. I would be really excited about that, except all that means is I can pay off a bunch of my bills. I should be at a point where my finances are manageable, and I won't have to struggle. I'll have money for food and stuff, and be able to pay my rent on time again YEAH! That is really, really good news, and I am happy about it.. really I am.. but at the same time, if I didn't have to pay all these bills, I could totally buy myself this new toy... 

Being Poor is Expensive Part Deux

The more I thought about the bank fees I've been paying, and how these payday loans are drowning me, I got curious. I went back and counted up all the money I've paid in overdraft fees, and it turns out I've paid $2880.00 this year in bounce fees! $990.00 of that was within the last month, not including the current $210.00 in fees I just incurred because my bank account was once again short on funds. It doesn't help that job 2 screwed up my paycheck by about 340.00, which I still havent gotten from them. I'm waiting for them to try to figure out what happened. They said they'll cover my bouncies, so thats why I didnt include the $210, but currently my account is $384.00 in the negative. I just got paid on the 10th. This sucks!! That's not to mention that every payday.. not every month..EVERY PAYDAY..I'm paying $430.00 IN FEES!! not principal..FEES!! between the 4 payday loans I have out. Break out your calculators kids, cuz we're talking lots of cash going bye-bye. Hmmm I wonder why I'm poor and begging for money from the internet. My landlord isn't happy, because with my paycheck being screwed up, I didn't have all the rent, I don't have nough to cover my electric bill, and very shortly I'll be in the middle of a grocery crisis. Luckily, my landlord is a friend, and he knows my situation so he's cutting me some slack, but he sure aint' happy about it. I told him I'll catch him up by the end of the month, and I should be able to, barring any more disasters, but it's still embarrassing to not have the rent money. At least I have an excuse, and it was because of my paycheck malfunction, not because I didn't earn enough money. To make matters worse, my computer decided to crash and burn tonight, so I had to reformat and reinstall everything. Luckily, J had an extra hard drive laying around, so he popped that in for me. I lost so much stuff, all my favorites, etc, tons of graphics and Paint Shop Pro stuff, and my work software now needs to be reinstalled. Of course, it happened late enough in the day that I couldn't get reinstalled tonight. So, I lost a whole night of work, and tomorrow is the last day of the pay period. Grrrrrrrr I friggin' GIVE UP!!

Being Poor is Expensive.

Well, today totally sucks! It's pay day, and already my money is gone. I went grocery shopping and spent money I don't have to buy food, which I have to have, and I still don't have everything I need. It's gonna be slim pickins around here for the next two weeks. Now, I have to pay the rent, electric, and cable, and then I'll be completely broke, and I havent paid anything on any of the pay day loans or any other bills I owe from this check. I was -544.00 in my account before my check even hit the bank, and I'll probably be the same way for my next check. Most of that negative balance was due to bounce fees I had to pay to the bank, because I have things automatically try to debit my account, and every one that tries to go through costs me $30. I tried to call these people before they tried to debit their things, to try to make payment arrangements that wouldn't cause me to get more bounce fees, and they all said there was nothing to do about it. So, it will happen again. I paid 800.00 in bounce fees last month. If I had that 800.00, I could have paid half of the dang bills I owe. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about it. You get in a cycle, where you're in the negative before your check hits, and anything that goes into the bank goes to those fees first, so there's not enough to pay the bills, so you get more bounce fees, and so on and so on.. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I will be okay.. I keep telling myself that. j will get his license back tomorrow, and then he can get a job (Im praying anyway) and then with the zillion hours I'm working this pay period (16 hours yesterday alone) I will hopefully be able to climb out of this hole. Nobody has donated anything at all except my buddy B who lent/gave me the 292.00, and so far, that's it. I'm on my own with all this, I guess. At least it makes me feel better to write it down and get it all out, so I guess that's something. One of the payday loans is about to attach my next paycheck too for the full amount, so thats gonna be embarrassing, but it's actually kinda good, because they will be paid off, and the money won't go to the bank and get eaten. Of course, then I'll owe the bank the fees, and whatevers left will get eaten, so I won't probably even have money for food and to pay my phone bill outta my next check. Can you say, "SOUP KITCHEN"?? Maybe by then, J will have a job and get a little bit of money. It's not likely, but it could happen. In the meantime, I feel all flustered and anxious, waiting to see just how much I will be in the negative by my next check, and waiting for the phone calls to start from the pay day loan people telling me that they couldn't get payment. Thang God for caller ID and my answering machine, it makes avoidance and denial a lot easier.

I'd Kill for a Philly Cheesesteak Pizza!

Damn, I'm starving. I don't have anything good in my house to eat either, and that totally sucks. I hate this poverty thing. If I wasn't poor, I'd be dialing Dominos right now and gettin' me a Philly Cheesesteak and some barbecue wings...mmmmmm.. but, unfortunately, pizza and wings would run me about 20 bucks, which I don't have. grrrrrr. This is so pathetic! I can't afford a pizza. The other day, I had a major craving for some General's Chicken..but Chinese don't deliver for free. Last weekend, I wanted a chicken salad sub from Larry's Giant Subs..but noooooooo. I had cheesburger macaroni Hamburger Helper for dinner today..whooopeeee. I suppose I should be happy that I had that, and I'm not reduced to eating a steady diet of Ramen noodles as of yet. A friend that was s'posed to lend me some money to help me pay one of my bills didn't come through, so that sucks in a major way. Not that I thought she would, cuz she's got good intentions, but is sorta unreliable..and that would make my life easier, so we couldn't have THAT! It's okay though, cuz I'm just gonna keep doing whatever it is I gotta do until I can get this stuff caught up. Apparently, nobody is gonna donate anything to help me, so ::sigh::: I guess I'm on my own, as always. Maybe I should stop whining, and that would be a little more attractive to visitors. But I'll keep updating the page, cuz I like making pages, and I'll post in this blog when I can, when I'm not working or sleeping, which is ALL I have time to do anymore. At least I can vent my depression over my poverty. That's productive anyway.

Wasting My Time

Okay, so I've spent the day, in between working my zillion hours, updating and adding to the websites. I'm probably wasting time better spent actually working, but I figure I gotta try to see if I can try to get some help with getting this stuff paid. I've been watching the news all about the tsunami victims, tsunami aid, this and that..and I feel so bad for the victims. I can't imagine the devastation over there, and the 150+ thousand lives lost, so far. Unspeakable sadness, it's too huge to think about the number of lives and the property lost. Those people probably don't have much of a life to start with, and now they've got even less. I know we've all gotta do our part to help, but at the same time, I can't help thinking that there are people here in the US still living in trailers and tents, and trying to recover from the damages of the hurricanes we just suffered. People..I don't know.. like me, for instance. I applied for help from FEMA and every other place I could think of, and I can't get help paying off a measly $1500.00. Yet, we're sending billions of government aid, and another untold millions to billions from private donations to other countries to save these people. Is it too much to ask that they could funnel just a teeny tiny piece of that money going there to help people like me. Not even necessarily me, but what about those who are even worse off than me and getting nothing. People who lost their homes, lost people they loved, lost businesses. The sad part for me too, is that because of the timing of these problems I'm having, with Christmas being just over, and people being broke from that, and now everyone with money to give far more likely to send it over to help the tsunami victims than to give it to a girl who still has a home and needs so little by comparison, I'm probably not likely to find many, if any, people who will be willing to donate or loan me money. I'm gonna keep trying, but I'm not holding out much hope for my prospects.

SUE'S BROKE

So It Begins

I always hate the first post, and the beginning of something new. It looks so lonely and pathetic to have just one or two little blurbs. But, I guess things have to start somewhere. If you came here through Blogger links or surfing or something like that, instead of by the website, you may want to visit the website to get the story that explains the name of this blog. Basically, I'm broke because of being out of work for about two weeks, due to the hurricanes we had here in Florida. I put up a "cyberbeggar" page, after applying for loans and searching for help with no luck, in the hopes that some kind souls of the internet would send me donations or loans, to help me get back on my feet, and recover from these debts. I feel kinda like scum for having to ask for help, because it's not something I've ever done before. I've always been very self sufficient, and just managed the best I can, but this time I can't seem to get ahead. I can't get caught up, and I'm going slowly down hill financially. I support myself, my disabled boyfriend (while he was going to school), and my 3 dogs and 2 cats, and I've been doing okay, but now I've had to take a second job With that I will probably be able to eventually catch up and get back on my feet on my own, but if I have to wait until I earn the money to pay these debts on my own, in the meantime I'm slipping farther and farther into debt, and backsliding in my progress in cleaning up my credit and stuff, and I'm struggling to make the rent and buy food and stuff. It's killing me, and it's depressing as hell. Well, anyway, anyone who reads this, if you have a dollar or two and don't mind helping someone who is trying to help themselves, and doing everything they know how to stay afloat, I'd appreciate it alot. If not, then maybe go ahead and visit the website anyway, cuz maybe you'll find something there that interests you.